You see it on the covers of magazines. You read articles about it. It is in the pop-up ad that taunts you on the side of your computer screen. You need to lose weight. You need perfect skin. If you don’t dress right, you can’t fit in. These things are the definition of beauty—or are they?

Over the past decade, the influence of media on teenagers has increased substantially. It tells you how to look, how to act, what to participate in and the list goes on and on.

What sets the standard of the ideal weight? Who says blondes do it better? Do you have to wear the most popular brands and drink Starbucks to be cool?

My guess is that nobody in particular has set these expectations for you. You typically aren’t judged for being a pants size bigger than your peer. I doubt your classmates roll their eyes at you because you have red hair. I can almost guarantee it’s okay if Starbucks isn’t your thing.

So why does it feel like all these things are necessary?

You pick up a magazine at the store while standing in the check-out line. The girl on the front cover has perfect, bleach blonde hair, flawless skin and a rockin’ body.

Maybe for a minute you feel like the ugly stepsister. But I urge you to pause those thoughts and look a little deeper into the making of this cover.

Hold onto your seat because this may blow your mind; chances are, the girl on that cover looks nothing like that in real life. I hate to burst your bubble, but at the same time, you may need a reality check.

If you haven’t already seen before and after pictures, then this may have come as a surprise. But if you have, you were probably already aware of how much Photoshop a model must go through in order to become “media perfect.”

It’s not as simple as point and shoot. Often, companies change everything from eye brightness to the size of a models legs and “excess” weight. Now if you think that the media affects you, think about how the models must feel. Their bodies are being manipulated before they are viewed by the public.

Now men, I haven’t forgotten about you. Not only do the media have an effect on women, but often behind the scenes, you face the same sort of crazy expectations. A chiseled body isn’t always easy to come by. A six pack doesn’t equal perfection. That’s just the message you’re receiving from seeing pictures of ripped men and hearing girls rave over Channing Tatum.

There’s no need to push yourselves to diet and obsessively work out to impress other people. If you must, then do it for yourself —not because you feel like you need to in order to be accepted.

Media is an evil creature. Laugh at me if you please, but deep down, you know it’s true. It has been the cause of eating disorders, depression and even suicide. It has destroyed self-esteem and brought the idea into the heads of a countless number of teenagers that it’s a perfect world and they’re the only flaw.

Next time you look in the mirror and see someone that the media would go Photoshop crazy on, remember this: you define yourself. Your self-value should not be based on what another person looks like. Beauty comes in various forms, regardless of weight, height or race.

The media lies.